The Fearless Life: Confidence is a Choice is my first published fiction book, but that doesn’t mean I blundered my way through the writing process. First, I read tons of fiction. Next, I spent about 2 years reading about how to craft a plot, interesting dialogue, meaningful scenes, developing characters, and more before I even started writing. It took more than 1 year to finish writing the book as I not only wanted to create an interesting, well written story, but also wanted to incorporate many important lessons about overcoming fear.
So why a novel and not another non-fiction addition to my published works? One reason is the short attention span of avid self-help readers. Often when you read reviews of self-help books you will encounter a reviewer who complains, “I’ve read all this before! It’s nothing new!”
Two big problems with that statement.
First, if something works, then of course it will be repeated by many authors because it is effective! I do in fact cover a lot of original content I’ve developed for myself and coaching clients in all my books. But should I avoid including techniques I’ve actually witnessed working just because a few other writers have mentioned the same or similar techniques?
Of course not!
It’s like complaining your new doctor recommends the exact same treatment of all your previous doctors! They are experts in their fields and know what works. Of course they will often recommend the same cures.
The second problem with the “nothing new” claim is that if a reader is reading about the same techniques recommended by multiple authors, then how come they haven’t actually seriously tried them?
They are still looking for something easier. The cliché “magic pill” to cure their anxiety, lack of discipline, or anything else. If they try these recommendations such as exposure therapy or CBT they might only try for a few days before giving up and continuing the search for something easier. I don’t want to make fun of people who behave like this. I’ve been there too. I’ve often wasted a lot of time desperately searching for the easiest, least energy consuming method of fixing whatever problem I want to solve. I also get frustrated when multiple sources suggest something that sounds complicated and difficult. But if that’s what everyone recommends, then it’s at least worth seriously trying if you care about results.
The truth is there usually isn’t an easy solution. If someone has read lots of self-improvement related books and continues to encounter the same suggested solutions then it’s probably time to actually try those techniques. There are also the people who avoid trying effective techniques they’ve heard before simply because it bores them. They are novelty junkies constantly searching for a new fix. A method for improving your confidence doesn’t need to be 100% original to work. Self-improvement books don’t need to entertain you, they just need to help you self improve.
I’ve written The Fearless Life: Confidence is a Choice for people who want both the novelty of something new, and the person who is serious about improving their confidence. If you want a very logical, step by step plan for improving confidence I recommend Social Confidence Mastery. However, if you aren’t ready to commit to a complex plan yet, then The Fearless Life might help convince you it’s at least possible to face your fears.
What is the story about?
I got the idea for this story because often the clients I coach have many limiting beliefs. They often say “But I can’t talk to her, I’ll get rejected.” Or “I can’t tell my boss what I really think. He’s too intimidating.” When you show people with limiting beliefs all the people who overcame the exact same fears you just get more limiting beliefs. “Sure THEY can build confidence, they are actually good looking, but I’m ugly and short.” Then you show them videos or books made by people much shorter or less physically attractive who have overcome even bigger challenges and they choose to ignore the evidence because it doesn’t fit into their chosen world view.
This got me thinking that I wish I could show people a different version of themselves. A version that chose to always face their fears instead of making excuses to avoid them. Some stubborn individuals might still refuse to believe even though this would make it impossible to come up with excuses, but I like to think people are rational enough to accept inspiration from realizing their own potential.
If they saw that by consistently deciding to face fears they could build a solid base of confidence, perhaps they would believe it’s possible and start doing that.
This book is about one man. We look at his life in 2 different universes. In one, he always faces his fears, in the other he always runs from fear. The story covers almost the entire course of his life in each universe. It lets you compare how you would approach different steps in life depending on if you’ve conditioned yourself to be either anxious or fearless. I guarantee there will be many surprises in this story, it’s not a simple narrative.
This story is unique because in most novels the hero is the one who accepts the call to action. However, my story also includes the alternative version of the protagonist who refuses every call to action in his life. At first it was quite challenging to write this character in an entertaining way, but eventually I figured it out and I’m very pleased with the result.
I hope this story will help people think more carefully about whether they want to invest in fear or confidence, even when making seemingly small decisions.
The reverse is also true, if you consistently face situations that make you feel nervous, overtime you believe in yourself much more and your self-esteem increases. The only way to build authentic confidence is to constantly face the things that make you uncomfortable.
After you read the book, please let me know what you think.
But hey don’t buy this book if you don’t like original stories or you think you are already confident enough.
Do not read if you fear your own potential.